A Joke That Really Isn't Funny

In Wednesday's version of "The Edge", a joke/comedy section on the front of the Living section, the Fish Wrapper published a list from The Right Was Right that, unfortunately, is funny because it's so true.

Now that the election is behind us, and the Democrats control both houses of Congress, there's no reason not to admit it: the Right was right about us all along. Here is our 25-point manifesto for the new Congress:

  1. Mandatory homosexuality
  2. Drug-filled condoms in schools
  3. Introduce the new Destruction of Marriage Act
  4. Border fence replaced with free shuttle buses
  5. Osama Bin Laden to be Secretary of State
  6. Withdraw from Iraq, apologize, reinstate Hussein
  7. English language banned from all Federal buildings
  8. Math classes replaced by encounter groups
  9. All taxes to be tripled
  10. All fortunes over $250,000 to be confiscated
  11. On-demand welfare
  12. Tofurkey to be named official Thanksgiving dish
  13. Freeways to be removed, replaced with light rail systems
  14. Pledge of Allegiance in schools replaced with morning flag-burning
  15. Stem cells allowed to be harvested from any child under the age of 8
  16. Comatose people to be ground up and fed to poor
  17. Quarterly mandatory abortion lottery
  18. God to be mocked roundly
  19. Dissolve Executive Branch: reassign responsibilities to UN
  20. Jane Fonda to be appointed Secretary of Appeasement
  21. Outlaw all firearms: previous owners assigned to anger management therapy
  22. Texas returned to Mexico
  23. Ban Christmas: replace with Celebrate our Monkey Ancestors Day
  24. Carter added to Mount Rushmore
  25. Modify USA's motto to "Land of the French and the home of the brave"

I will be curious to see how many of these the Dems try to actually bring to fruition over the next two years.

User login







Syndicate

Syndicate content